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2001-01-29 There was indeed snow on the ground in Boston. Well, grey slush, anyway. The running joke of the trip was "You must have brought the warm weather with you!" Because, well, it was above freezing during the day. Mostly the snow was confined to the gutters and unwalked paths. The Boyfriend had suggested that I should make a snow angel or have other traditional "snow fun" while I was there and I might have -- but not in the dirty grey city plow-droppings we saw. I realised that I'd never stayed in a hotel room by myself before. Without a computer, I was left with the TV for company, and realized again what thin company it really is. Very lonely and, actually, a little scared for no good reason. Is this how other people feel on trips, and if so why would they continue to do it? Is this just a human condition that I'm normally spared? Or am I just an infant in the world compared to everyone else? I've certainly felt more infantile lately than I care to admit, so perhaps that's it -- and it's a temporary condition. An expensive long phone call to the Boyfriend (who I had been feeling especially far away from) helped a great deal. Another thing I realized I've never done before: have a flight delayed, let alone cancelled. My boss pulled some silent "Don't you know who I am?" and we got the next flight plus some meal vouchers (since there wouldn't be a vegetarian meal on the plane.) OK, really we just stood in the corporate flier line with everyone else, and the vouchers were the service associate's idea. It just sounds more cruel the first way, and I've been mean-spirited lately. So we sat around the airport for four hours. Ugh. We actually chatted about non-work things -- nice to see that there's a Human underneath the thick layer of the Corporation. Things won't change in the long term because the only thing we have in common is the Corporation. But I suppose it's nice to know that there is a cat and an apartment and dates and friends behind the icy Corporate face. I managed to get a lot of reading done on the flights, though, since I can't sleep while in motion. Finished one, so now I'm into another book on the shelf -- All Tomorrow's Parties by William Gibson. Honestly, it's not very good. The Roommate intends to donate it to the library when I'm done, and a fourth of the way through I can already see why. At the moment the plane touches down, I again realise I'm holding my breath and saying "thank you" to fate/god/luck/whatever once we start slowing. Transitions, I thought to myself, that's when bad things happen. No, I realise (again), the "bad" things are the tranisitions themselves, as well as the "good" things. Death is just an extreme (and fairly final, from our perspective) transition in that sense. Why am I suddenly feeling so Zen on United? And why, if I work at an major Internet company, did I not get to check my work or home email for two days? For as little as it felt like I did, the trip must have taken something out of me, because I couldn't get into work on Friday at all. I ended up sleeping all day to escape the malaise, though I suspect I needed the sleep most of all. It might have done the trick, too. I'm feeling better today, save for the omnipresent sleep deprivation and mild headache, and feeling slightly more inspired to do work. I might be finally waking up for the year 2001. Of course I felt well enough for Date Night and even a Superbowl party. Of course I rooted for the Ravens. For no other reason than their mascot is based on Edgar's dear old bird. My domain transfer has finally kicked in. Now I need to follow through and start work on my other site. If I had a blog I could join in the latest gay men's web meme (one which pleases me to watch, wink wink), but my white, fat stomach is not what the Internet needs to see. Funny, but this site on diaryland is free, and I update it much more often than the sites I pay for. Ha ha. Funny. Ha. _Casey
2003-03-29 - Moving Notice |
