You'll Dance to Anything

Instant Cappucino out of a packet. (Please note that I'm also not surprised that this sucked.) This is what happens when I don't find out that we're out of coffee until 2AM, when I try to make it for the next morning.
The fact that my black 501s are painfully, crushingly tight, but the blue ones -- which are the same numeric size -- are baggy and comfortable. We like black a lot better than blue.
New Presidents who plan to reverse progressive decisions. I had to turn off NPR mid sentence, because I was so angry.
Coming in to work to a "crisis." Of course, it's not a big deal unless you're an executive who has to masturbate the other executives. I can't wait to see what the "imperfections" turn out to be, and why they've put some people's panties in bunches.
Carefully stating your opinion, phrasing it as such, and having it kicked to the curb by a "superior". In minutes. By invoking another "superior's" name.
Everyone needing everything at once, and no one giving anyone notice for anything. OK, this one isn't new, but it sucks anyway.

OK, actually everything seems to suck this morning. I suppose that's the product of a weekend that kind of sucked as well. Nothing happened. I still felt miserable through it. Why can't I pick up the phone, when talking to a certain someone was the thing that I wanted most? If I wanted to do something out, why didn't I just do it instead of moping and hiding? Maybe I wanted a weekend to mope and hide. Or maybe I just really wanted a weekend of kicking myself. Maybe I like feeling hopeless, like the world is about to end sometimes.

I had a dream this morning that reminded me... Friday I was fantasizing in the shower that I had quit my job, just for the excitement of the change. Just so I'd never have to go back. Just so that things would be different. I'd like to think that I'm just stressed out and burnt, and that things are crazy. I have to keep reminding myself of this position, however; and everytime I do, it rings a little more hollow each time.

So far today at work has been about as much fun as two kicks in the crotch. It's not even two and I'm ready to close the door and hide. My coffee from this morning is cold now, and mostly full. My breakfast muffin is, yet again, uneaten.

I'm really dreading this trip, for a number of reasons. Among them is the time disruption. I've never dealt well with that. I'm anticipating not sleeping tonight until 3 or 4, getting up at 6, and trying to travel all day tomorrow on no sleep; not being able to sleep in Boston until 2 or 3, and doing a similar thing for Wednesday.

I'm also the master at psychosomatic illness. Through seventh grade I used to spontaneously run an actual, measurable fever before gym class, which was always good for a trip to the nurse's office and a chance to skip gym legally. I'm trying desperately not (I think) to come down with something preposterous. As crazy as today feels right now I think I could manifest a goddam kidney stone just by force of will alone.

And I still have to move my car. Hopefully I'll be home before Midnight when I get a ticket. (Oh, The Roommate did it for me! I'm very lucky to have such good friends...)

YOU'LL DANCE TO ANYTHING...

RECENT ENTRIES