2000-08-02

Which chair is this, the leather one or the cloth one? Leather? I must be home, then. Oh good, there's a novelty for me.

The ad campaign from hell is closer to being done than when we started. Deadlines were sort-of met, and the sort-of decent ads are sort-of going to be up next week. And we'll sort-of drive some traffic to the site, so we can sort-of increase our numbers to sort-of increase our stock price, which is sort-of sitting stagnantly lately. It's been really hard, trying to play well with others at work, when it's been the Casey Show for so long. I'll get there. Hopefully in one piece.

The other night I was very tired, standing on the platform at Montgomery Street Muni. It was 10:30 or so, and I was just getting home from a very long, busy day at work. There was a very energetic man there, with a short beard, and what I've described as uncomfortably attractive looks -- not everyone's idea of attractive, but very pretty features. And while he's bouncing around the platform, his eyes keep coming over to where I am. Eventually he settles into one spot nearby.

I can't stop looking at him, partly because he's pretty, partly because he looks *really* familiar. Do I know this person from my days in the bars, or the sex clubs? Or maybe I only think I know him because he's flirting? Or is this a face I know from the internet? Hmm. Sex and Web. My equal and opposite lovers. I realize, in retrospect, that this is regrettably not an uncommon line of questioning for me, given my historically voracious appetites in both areas. When you've seen as many as I have, all the... um... Websites... start to look the same.

He says out loud to no one in particular, "I just want to go home, It's been a long day." I do the boldest thing I can do under the circumstances. I take off my headphones and smile sadly. "Yes, it has..." He smiles, a little surprised, then looks away. He's not looking at me. He's not flirting. He just wants to go home.

I must have know him from the Internet, yeah, that's it.

I stuff my earphones in my ears again, and spend the trip home trying not to be obvious when I glance over at him. I thought about saying something when I get out, but think better of it. Besides, what would I have said..."Excuse me, but do you have a Website, or did we screw once?"

At work tuesday I was falling asleep at the keyboard. It was like the fact that I got four hours of sleep meant nothing. Like they gave me decaf instead of regular at the coffeehouse.

I blame The Sims. Not since Civilization II entered my life have my sleeping patterns, my whole daily rhythm been so interrupted. I mean, I broke down and bought a Gameboy and a copy of Pokemon Yellow because I fell a little tug of game addiction. (So you Lawyers at Nintendo, please don't arrest me for using an emulator last week, 'K?) But that was nothing. I am a man possessed.

It is a great game. Maybe I just get off on the minutae of other people's lives. But at three-thirty in the morning, the irony of sending little virtual people to bed so they can get up on time for work is totally lost.

And watching a Sim die in a firey mass (like what happened last night) is actually a rather disturbing thing, because as their controller, you lose. You have no power. Unless you have another sim around to put them out, you have to sit and watch this digital creature -- something you've invested time into and associated personality to -- die a horrible flaming death...until you, um, restart the game and teach the damn thing how to cook.

The Boyfriend and I went to yet another barbecue in the park this past weekend. His friends from work really seem to like having barbecues in the park. And I'm actually finding that I enjoy them, which should frighten me.

We're beginning negotiations about taking a vacation in October. He wants to go to Spain. I alternate on a per-question basis between, "Yes, it sounds so interesting and romantic and I've never been out of the US" and "No, oh my God, I can barely leave my house without having a nervous breakdown, how can I go there when my Spanish sucks so bad and there'll be meat in every dish we eat."

I'm a fuckin' piece of work.

_Casey

2003-03-29 - Moving Notice
2002-06-04 - Accordians and Ambassadors (Diary Fragment)
2002-05-24 - Manias (Diary Fragment)
2002-05-09 - See this little island here?
2002-04-24 - Bored and Drippy.