powered by SignMyGuestbook.com |  |
2001-05-15 OK, some basic rules for business travel need to be spelled out here, for both my own safety and the safety of others. 1. Always go pee before takeoff. Especially when you've just downed a double depth charge. The bladder does not care that the captain has turned on the seat belt sign. The captain will need to give me new underpants in a minute. 2. Do not expect that Southern California will ever look different than it was when you last left it. It will not change, however you expect it to. OK, maybe that's not fair. Don't expect suburbia to change, nor rows of white windowless office parks. 3. Definitely anticipate that the gulleys and watersheds of the outlying areas of Orange County will always and immediately put "Under the Bridge" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers in your head. 4. Never decorate a florescent-lit conference room in fleck-tone grey and royal purple, unless you intend to give your vendors and clients complimentary Tylenol for Migranes™ in a bowl like breath mints. 5. Do not eat the Cheese Pizza from Pizza Hut in the airport. Unless you want that particular pain six hours later. I don't care how good it sounded, or even if you hadn't eaten all day. 6. Do not attempt to tan yourself if you freckle in the sun by repeatedly burning and then freckling, and hoping that the freckles touching each other will make you permanently darker-complected. My mother tells me she tried this theory very briefly when she was young, until she quickly remembered that flesh-searing pain is bad. Someone in our business meeting, however, apparently never figured this out; He looked like the Mummy returned, except with polka-dot leather skin instead of bandages. 7. Don't travel 300 miles south to meet someone who works two blocks away from you. That's just silly. 8. Always expect that the flight home on a business trip will be delayed at least half as long (if not longer) as the actual time spent in the air. 8a. This time may be considerably shorter, however, if there are attractive people (the tragic dot-com-guy in a white polo shirt, for example, whose parts are definitely greater than his whole) to surreptitiously eyeball in the waiting area. The time may be longer, however, if your gate is immediately across from the McDonald's in the Airport, where not only the reek of smoke and fat is palpable, but also the actual splatters of grease from the grill and deep fryer. 9. Do not spray yourself with perfume when you get to your seat in the plane before takeoff. You will not make friends with the gentleman in black who by now has now inserted his nose into the air conditioning vent above him in an attempt to not suffocate. 10. Towns should take the lead of Foster City and put large, reflective letters spelling out their city name on the ground, visible from low-flying aircraft. There were several times when I got distracted from my book, looked down and asked myself, "Santa Cruz mountains? Santa Lucia? Mount Diablo?" (and silently chastising myself for not paying enough attention in geography class). Over Foster City, I looked down and there it was, like words on a map. That's nice. Somebody do something about that, OK? 11. Do not expect that any "fires will be put out" on the day you are gone. Your coworkers will merely fan the flames for you while you are away. It was a nice weekend, though. I got little accomplished, which was fine. I went into Friday morning in a panic of all the stuff that had to get done before Monday, planning on jotting a to do list into my Palm Pilot and plotting to wake up early and, um... accomplish... something. As the days rolled by. I realized (rationalized?) that nothing I had to do was really that important. So I didn't. And didn't feel guilty either. Notably, I've said a lot about wanting to be more social but have been behaving a lot more hermit-like. Well, this was the weekend to let go, and just follow the Boyfriend's lead. Multiple beers were drunk at a barbecue at a friend's nearby loft. Strangers were met, other acquaintances spoken to. This might be the first time in maybe two months that I've gone out to an event where I was interacting with strangers who weren't serving food in a restaurant. We also saw the KFOG Kaboom! Concert again, a really good fireworks display synchronized to a local radio station's music picks. This marks the fourth time he and I were seeing it together. Always frightening. Called Mom on Mother's Day. Played around online a lot. Got the Boyfriend to take me to the airport on Monday morning, so he had to spend the night at my house again. Darn, isn't that a shame? Then I got on a plane, went to a meeting, and felt like a budding professional. "Look everyone! I'm a real adult! with a real job that sends me on real client calls 'cause I'm real important!" Shyeah.
2003-03-29 - Moving Notice |
