2001-05-04

In the shower this morning, thinking about publishing this, I realized that I don't usually post from Tuesday to Thursday, for what are probably obvious reasons. But honestly, I've been working on this since then.

My bad attitude has just become worse and worse. Didn't know that was possible. I have now received email from my boss's lateral equal asking w.t.f. was up with a project I haven't had time to work on. I'm still debating on how I should respond. Silence? Maybe like usual ("With staff absences, I had to prioritize other things ahead of it"), or maybe honestly ("I was doing your damn presentations and site updates instead") or possibly totally honestly ("It interests me as much as eating raw pork in glass shards, so I've avoided it for two weeks with anything else I can possibly do, including surfing the internet for three days solid.") I'm currently trying to write, work on this piece of crap project and surf the web; all three seem to be suffering. Today things are a little better...so far this morning I've actually done some work on the thing. Thank heavens for small miracles.

Other weirdnesses are occurring which I cannot commit to the screen for many reasons. I will say that this is an interesting time to be in New Media. Like the Chinese (?) curse, "May you live in interesting times" interesting. It's also "Make sure your resume is up to date" interesting, but that's just a practical matter rather than anything that's a reality.

In fact it feels like there's a lot I can't talk about right now. I'm wondering if this is just me being oversensitive. (Shyeah, like that would ever happen!) A few friends at work read this. Mom might read the journal; I know she reads my Weblog. I still don't think the Boyfriend reads these pages, which is a little strange having to say things twice for his benefit. (Well, he thinks Weblogs are generally dumb, and I don't actually disagree, for the most part, but think he's just reading the wrong ones.) The Roommate reads everything I publish, as does our most fabulous mutual friend, I think.

Dad. I'm pretty sure my not-so-techno-savvy father doesn't read what I write online.

Ah well...just publish what you feel comfortable publishing, Casey.

I'm on my own again this weekend -- this week I know about it in advance -- and not entirely sure what to do with myself again. Maybe I'll finally make good on my threat to buy a TV. At least some part of me wants to go out to a club...maybe the local queer watering holes, or a goth club, or if there's something colorful and mixed genre -- thinking back to the days of Club Junk and Litterbox -- maybe go dancing, something I haven't done in years. And I haven't been to a goth club since So What?...and that was in 1997, I think? God, it's been a while. Shrine of Lilith is on Saturdays...I've never been. Of course, it'll be a lot of music I've never heard before, since I haven't really been into Goth music since the '90s, and even then it was the trendier and dancier stuff. Harrumph.

No, I probably should update my resume and work on my portfolio. Maybe redesigning the resume (and updating its style from five years ago) could be not only a creative project but a useful one too. I dunno. The prospect of actually using the things just depresses me, for a few different reasons. Friends who are looking for work in either advertising or interactive/Web jobs are having difficulty. Advertising agencies are closing San Francisco branches and laying off people left and right. Ah well, it's just a crisis of confidence at the moment, both out there and in here. I just need something shiny to distract me.

But not something too distracting. That's been the problem at work.

150 minutes left on the charger for my MP3 player...so the soonest I can leave today if I want to wait for that is 3:30 PM...I might be ready to leave by then (or by the same token, I may have had all I can take by then.) At least I might avoid the "Friday at Four," the last minute crisis particular to Friday afternoons when somebody who didn't plan ahead suddenly needs something for 9AM Monday. I thought about calling in for a mental health holiday today, but decided that I might be able to get some actual work done. Ah well. There's always next week.

_Casey

2003-03-29 - Moving Notice
2002-06-04 - Accordians and Ambassadors (Diary Fragment)
2002-05-24 - Manias (Diary Fragment)
2002-05-09 - See this little island here?
2002-04-24 - Bored and Drippy.