Doc Martin

Fear Not Drowning

Ultramundane.com

YOU'LL DANCE TO ANYTHING...

2000-06-16

My friend Sherilyn invited me to join the Net.Goths Journals ring. Astute readers will notice its addition on the left. Not only is this the first Webring I've even joined (virginity is not a virtue if it's only because of apathy) but it's for actual real "goth" people. I call myself a "goth," but it's not necessarily a comfortable fit. I haven't been to a goth club in years. I don't wear makeup (at least, not nearly enough). I don't smoke anymore. I sometimes wear normal colors. Heck, this journal is in blue and orange, fer cryin' out loud. I feel like I should redesign it in black and red, so I don't scare the new neighbors....

I just feel like such a bad goth. A poseur. An old fart dressing up like a teenager again. But I don't think I'm old enough to be an old fart yet.

Close, though.

Record heat here in the Bay Area. 93 in the city tuesday, 103 yesterday. Yuck. I don't know how people in hot climates do this year-round. Probably by not wearing all black on the hottest day of the year...

OK, maybe I'm a better goth than I give myself credit for.

Just got a sandwich at the Safeway deli, and I got a glimpse of myself that I really didn't like. I was leaning over the counter, saying "Excuse me, that sandwich was supposed to have onions and no mayo, and the other was supposed to have mayo but no onions." I suddenly felt like spoiled, new-media trash. I feel like I should to give a gift to the poor woman who had to deal with me, mostly because while I might have been a boor for a second, I know she has to deal with people who are always like that.

It's very hard to type with a fingertip bandage on. I also never realized how many keys I normally hit with my left ring finger.

We're all greatly enjoying working without supervisors. Funny, but there haven't been any crises like usual. Hmm. Must be great timing. Couldn't be because the usual suspects are managing their own crises, while the "management" is away. Or that the usual crises are completely artificial. No, it's timing and luck. That must be it.

Oh, and look: Just what I needed to bolster my ever-growning cynicism about new media. Let's Gossip and Fucked Company. What a pair.

Difficult sleep schedule. I've been up until three most nights and wake up before my alarm clock, at about the same time every day (which is suspicious.) Then I doze through the morning until the last possible moment, and then some, before I get up and shower. And normally when I oversleep, I sleep like a rock. The past few days it's been this wierd in-and-out dozing, where I'll be out for ten to fifteen minutes and will then wake up again, confused as to why the story on NPR suddenly changed from the historic meeting of North and South Korean leaders to a piece on a woman's 10-year-old daughter's school problems.

Which is probably similar to how this journal entry sounds. Given that it's taken three days to write, I'm not surprised, either.

There we go. What a way to make a first impression. Put on your best psychosis and let's go meet the neighbors.

RECENT ENTRIES

2003-03-29 - Moving Notice
2002-06-04 - Accordians and Ambassadors (Diary Fragment)
2002-05-24 - Manias (Diary Fragment)
2002-05-09 - See this little island here?
2002-04-24 - Bored and Drippy.