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2001-11-28 "Stop. Notice when you get angry and look for the signs. Is your voice rising, neck tightening, face getting hot, hands shaking, jaw tightening and breath shortening? Do you want to run away?" Yes, in fact, and very quickly. I'm finding everything a little overwhelming right now. I'm tired and still a little sick, and today I'm doing the work of a couple people who are out sick themselves. I'm doing my best to cope and trying to avoid thinking uncharitable thoughts, but I really want to be back in my pajamas napping or playing a nice nostalgic game of Afterlife, which I dug up last weekend. But one must persevere. Stop. Notice. Breathe. That's better. Take projects little by little, and they're much more manageable. Take a step back from a "problem" to see how important it really is; the truth is, a lot of "problems" are hardly as dire as they seem to be at the moment. Let go. Appreciate positive things. Stop. Notice. Breathe. Actually, my cold symptoms are a bit better today. On Monday night I was sure I was going to be house-bound by today, but I never seemed to get any sicker than that. The Boyfriend had a little bit of a sore throat this weekend, but the Roommate was just miserable with a cold. I hope I'm following the boyfriend's cold trajectory. We'll see what the rapidly encroaching storm does for me. Well, I'll try to minimize my puddle-jumping in the next few days. There was one morning the week before last when I woke up to the sound of the rain, well before my alarm clock was set to go off. I listened, snug under the covers, dozed for a little while, woke up and listened for a while again, tried to come up with a good excuse not to go in to work...it was actually somewhat late morning by then, and the normally-busy parking lot behind our apartment was still silent...the light coming in thinly through the blinds, the white hiss of rain, everything still and gentle. Sure, there were car horns by the time I got out of the shower, but it's the fragile moment before that matters more. Stop. Notice. Breathe. Thanksgiving dinner at the Boyfriend's Friend's house was an experience. My memories of Thanksgiving are mostly of just Mom and Dad and me. Occasionally my grandparents would stay with us and they'd be there, but things were always pretty quiet. This was nothing like that. There were twenty people there for a potluck dinner. Yikes! There was also a lot of champagne involved, so conversation naturally tended toward the loud and boisterous (but this is a good-natured bunch.) I did my best to keep up on all fronts. As I joked with the host, I may be a little shy around people, but I'm never shy when it comes to champagne. It's interesting seeing other people's Holiday customs, too. New for me: Plastic cups you decorate with stickers (so you can keep track of your drink.) Singing "God Bless America" along with Kate Smith (which they've done in the middle of dinner for at least the past twenty years; this year we sang beforehand so that someone who wasn't staying for dinner could sing with us.) Truth be told I was a little sentimental for the calm-quiet of dinner at Mom and Dad's, but I did have a good time. And since it was the first time in a couple years that this party happened, the Boyfriend was excited to have his Thanksgiving tradition back, and to include me in it. The next day he wanted to go shopping. On the second busiest shopping day of the year. (I understand it's now been surpassed by the Saturday before Christmas. Procrastinators, the lot of us!) I wanted to honor Buy Nothing Day. He wanted to see the fracas and do something around people. After I dragged my feet for a few hours, we did end up walking around Union Square looking at things and at people; but other than dinner, we didn't buy anything. Though I got some ideas. I'm still drinking a lot less coffee than I was. Today not only did I get here What's the weather like out there? Oh, for a window in this office...has the rain let up for my walk home? The vacuum cleaners have come on here at work so I guess it's time to slither home and switch into sweat pants. Start again tomorrow, better capable to handle it all. But if I feel like this tomorrow, I think I'll have to stop and have another cup of coffee.
2003-03-29 - Moving Notice |
